With My Dying Breath
by The Nauti Dolphin
Summary: A retelling of Sirius's last moments from his perspective. Very angsty, hence the primary genre and the ominous title. R&R, plzthx!


**Warning**: For anyone who cried when they read the ending of Beyond The Veil, Chapter 35 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, you might want to break out the tissues. Also, I don't own Harry Potter, you retards! The woman you would be looking for is the brilliant J. K. Rowling. 

I wrote this story because I myself wondered what Sirius's last moments were like. I hope this does it justice!

Now, without further ado, read on!

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With My Dying Breath

_"James, why do you insist upon being such a show-off?"_

_"Lily, dear, it's one of the only things I'm good at!"_

_"Don't be ridiculous. James, you know you're good at other things, too."_

_"Oh, really? Like what?"_

_"Well… you know…"_

_"Oh, would you two just get a room?!" Sirius interrupted. "Sorry to break up the lovefest, but I'd like to keep my lunch where it belongs," he teased with a smile. The other two smiled right back at Sirius. "I'll leave you two to your business," Sirius said with a beaming smile._

_"Thanks, mate," James called back to his greatest friend._

Sirius gave one last look at the two smiling faces, watching them fade into his own thoughts…

He couldn't imagine those two ever getting together, but they were such a great couple. Sirius admired what they had; he could never be jealous of someone whom he had come to recognize as the brother he never had. Well, actually, he did have a brother by blood, but not one in the sense of how brothers should share a strong bond of fraternity.

The moment they asked Sirius to be their only son's godfather, he vowed to look out for Harry as the son he never had if anything ever happened to Lily and James. He was so grateful for Harry. He was the only person Sirius had to live for. He would never break his promise to Harry's parents as long as he was around.

"Sirius!" Lupin's urgent voice wrenched him from his thoughts. "Your godson's gotten himself into trouble. Severus just informed me that Harry is under the impression that you are being tortured by Voldemort at the Department of Mysteries," Lupin explained. "Harry's gone there, undoubtedly playing into the Dark Lord's hand."

Sirius dug his hand into his robes and whipped out his wand. "What are you waiting for? Let's go."

"Severus thought it might be best if you stayed here to keep a watch over Headquarters and tell Dumbledore what's going on," Lupin pointed out as gingerly as possible, hoping he wouldn't upset Sirius but knowing he probably would anyway.

"Harry is walking straight into Voldemort's trap. He is getting into danger beyond even what he knows. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to him and I was just sitting here at home. I don't even care bout wasting my life at the hands of Voldemort or a Death Eater. My life is already wasted, except for to live as someone to be there for Harry. This isn't even an act of courage or anything. If it weren't for Harry, I would be happy to lose my life. It's nothing special living my life as a shell of a man who can't even go outside the house. I think that Harry would want me there and I'm not going to sit here and regret anything any longer!"

By this point, Moody, Kingsley, and Tonks had all gathered in the room and had heard enough to know there was no stopping Sirius.

"Alright," Lupin said unsteadily, "if you insist, then. Let's go."

Kreacher walked through the room, probably having listened to the conversation and mumbling some undoubtedly malevolent things under his breath.

"Kreacher!" Sirius called. "Get over here, you filthy scumbag. I want you to tell Dumbledore that we are at the Department of Mysteries and we need him to come immediately. Tell Dumbledore and only Dumbledore the second he arrives here or makes contact with you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Kreacher understands," he replied, and Sirius and the others didn't stay long enough to listen to anymore.

With one loud crack for each member of the Order present, they Apparated next to the run down telephone booth that doubled as the visitors' entrance to the Ministry of Magic. They all squeezed into the booth, a difficult feat for five adults if it hadn't been for magic.

The cool female voice welcomed them to the Ministry, and in his anxiousness, Sirius couldn't believe how incredibly slow the booth seemed to be descending.

When they finally reached the Atrium, the one witch and four wizards silently rushed through it towards the lifts, piling into one of them. They watched the grilles slide closed and pressed the button marked with the number 9. The lift ascended at what seemed to Sirius to be an even slower pace than the one at which the phone booth moved.

Anxious, heavy silence filled the lift, all five with their wands at the ready and restlessly awaiting the grilles to slide back open. Sirius broke the silence, telling Lupin in a quiet voice he rather wished the others wouldn't hear, "That kid means so much to me. I wish I had started a family. I know he's not James, but it's great because it feels like I've gotten my best friend back and the son I never had all at once in one boy. I wish I could give him so much more than all I have to offer. I would literally do anything for that kid. If I don't make it out, take care of Harry for me. In fact, all of you," he said, raising his voice and now addressing everyone in the lift, "make sure he gets through life okay," he finished before he felt any beginnings of tears come to his eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous," Moody interjected with gruff consolation. "You'll make it out fine."

No one found though, even with all the preparations the Order of the Phoenix had made, that they were sure that any of them would make it away from Voldemort and his army of Death Eaters unscathed.

The grilles finally slid open, the cool female voice announcing their arrival at the Department of Mysteries. Sirius, Moody, Tonks, and Lupin followed Kingsley through endless hallways and doors until they finally came upon a huge room with stone steps and a dais in the centre full of about a dozen Death Eaters, Neville, and Harry.

Immediately, curses began to fly everywhere. Sirius tried to get to Harry, but the Death Eaters would hardly allow it. He got within ten feet of Harry before he was challenged by a Death Eater who just wouldn't give it up. Sirius got somewhat of an adrenaline rush, as it was his first time out of the house since September. He was finally able to Stun the Death Eater, instantly thereafter searching for Harry.

He saw a Death Eater he new as Dolohov not far from a conked out Moody bearing down upon Harry and Neville. Sirius ran at full speed, ramming into Dolohov with his shoulder. After the two of them recovered and stood back up, he began to duel with Dolohov so that Harry might have some time to escape. Dolohov put up a great fight, at least until Harry put a Full Body-Bind Curse on him.

"Nice one!" Sirius shouted at Harry above the din, forcing his head down to avoid a bunch of Stunning Spells. Between more ducking, Sirius managed to get out, "Now I want you to get out of -"

Sirius was cut short as he felt a jet of green light whiz right by his ear. He watched Tonks fall from about halfway up the steps, suddenly coming to grips how dangerous of a place this was for Harry to be in. He turned to Harry, yelling, "Harry, take the prophecy, grab Neville, and run!"

Sirius ran to meet Bellatrix, casting one backward glance at Harry. _God, that kid is so brave. I couldn't be prouder of him,_ Sirius thought to himself. He sent a Stunning Spell at his cousin, catching her attention but not actually hitting her.

He may have hated Bellatrix, but he had to admit she was a great witch and fair competition, as it had been since they were younger.

"Good to finally get out of the house, dear cousin? Tell me, what's it like to be locked up in your own house for about nine months?" Bellatrix taunted, shooting a spell at Sirius as she goaded him.

He narrowly missed her curse, sending one of his own right back at her and replying, "Actually, it fells great to get out, Belly." Sirius knew that she hated that nickname and may pay dearly for using it, but his main goal was to keep as many Death Eaters away from Harry as possible.

Sirius's namecalling enrages Bellatrix and focused her completely on defeating him, leaving no time for a retort. Sirius continued to tease her, dodge the jets of light emitting from the tip of her wand, and send some of his own curses and spells her way.

Suddenly, there was a shout from Neville. "DUBBLEDORE!" he cried out, and Sirius shot a sideways glance at the ancient wizard swiftly descending upon the fray of equally dedicated witches and wizards.

Bellatrix had not yet becom aware of the new arrival. Sirius knew that his skirmish with her would not last long after Dumbledore arrived, so he dodfed another of her spells and laughed. He mocked his cousin in an echoing voice, "Come on, you can do better than that!"

And she did. In the blink of an eye, Bellatrix had uttered the two most fatal words in the wizarding world and a jet of vivid green light hit Sirius squarely in the chest. His face froze mid-laugh, eyes widened in shock.

_I failed you, Harry. I failed your parents. I don't blame you if you never forgive me. But really, what would have become of me, had I lived? I had been stuck in that house for too long and I guess I sort of over-killed my freedom. But if I had survived, there is a good chance I would be sent back to Azkaban. It was my time, and I'm sure everything will work out okay by the end of the day._

_Harry, I'm sorry I wont be there when you graduate from Hogwarts. I'm sorry I wont be there when you become an Auror like I'm sure you will. I'm sorry I wont be there when you get married. I'm sorry I wont be there when you have a child. I'm sorry I wont be there when you need guidance. I'm sorry I wont be there to help you through the bad times and celebrate with you the good times. But most of all, Harry, I'm sorry you had to see me die, to see me fail you._

As Sirius's body fell backwards and slipped through the veil, no one heard him as he called out with his dying breath, "I'm sorry, Harry…"

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So… you like? Please review and tell me!! It was my first shot at some real angsty stuff, so give me your input! That's what reviewing is for!!

Charlotte ;)


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